Just a random observation I’ve made. I’m not sure if all mom’s are this way or just mine.
I was married in July of this year, and my family found out that my sister was pregnant in August. My mother kept looking at me funny, and hinting thinking that I was gonna tell her any day that I was pregnant as well. I of course was not pregnant. Before this, (right up until the wedding) and up until we found out that my sister found out she was pregnant, my mother was constantly telling me not to have a baby right away and certainly not to have a baby while we’re stationed overseas. I found it odd that she’d get this almost excited smirk when she’d look at me, thinking I was going to tell her she’d get a two for one deal.
My sister sadly miscarried for the second time shortly after. She’d had her first miscarriage about two years prior, After the bad news and in the days since, my mother resumed her almost demand that we not have a baby right away or while we’re overseas. I continuously remind her that we have our own plan and we will be sticking to it so long as it fits US (US= my husband and I, nobody else). This conversation somehow occurs at least once a week in between her telling me that I’ll probably have to get another passport and another visa which would put me here until January/February, as well as being pessimistic about the entire situation and offering the comfort of “Better get used to it, that’s the military for you” which is not very comforting at all. (My father, the big scary Marine is different. He gives me a kiss, pats me on the head, and tells me “it’s on it’s way, it’s coming, it’ll be here soon.” Did I mention I was always daddy’s little girl??)
Anyway, back to my original subject. I went to a friend of mine’s baby shower this afternoon. I came home and gave her the details. I told her apparently two more of my friends from High School were pregnant as well, one in particular who was married to her High School sweetheart. She just got this look on her face like she was ashamed and that it was so horrible that these women were having babies.
I suppose a lot of it is that she hurts for my sister. She wants a grandbaby as much as my sister wants a baby, and my husband and I eventually want our own little one. But the look of her distaste that friends of mine were having babies almost sickened me. I love my sister and I hurt for her as well, but the entire world is supposed to stop living their lives and creating their own families so that she doesn’t have to feel bad? Are my husband and I supposed to put off having our baby until she has a successful pregnancy first? Am I not allowed to be happy and offer support to my friends when they start their own families?
The second subject is my leaving. My husband and I have had many problems with my visa which is the only thing holding me up at this point. I keep telling everyone to keep a positive mindset, but my own mother has the most negative. It’s that negativity that brings me down and makes me depressed, causing more negativity. I don’t necessarily believe in karma, not 100%, but have you ever noticed everything bad tends to happen when you’re negative/in a bad mood/depressed? But when you have a positive mindset more good things tend to happen to you? If someone’s negative towards you, or angry at you, you get a sense of it, and perhaps though you yourself are not in a bad mood, perhaps you have a nagging feeling, or something bad happens anyway? I wonder if that is not the case with my visa. My mother’s pessimism and not wanting me to move so far away is blanketing me and hence my visa does not come.
This brings me to my third, newly developed point. You have to bring it all to GOD, and ask for his protection. You have to ask for him to blanket you from the harm and negativity. Only GOD can provide in these situations and only HE can cover you from harm.
Such large problems, and it is funny that they have such simple solutions.
That was just a little food for thought.
~Mrs. Jamie Yeager